| | I'm sad to admit that I let another four months or so go by since the last time I posted an entry on here. I almost want to give up on my xanga, but so much of my history is here. Maybe I should just print off everything and then continue on with an actual physical journal. Who knows.
I miss my family desperately today. It kinda feels like it felt the first few weeks I was here in Utah last year, left almost completely on my own away from everything and everyone I knew. A lot of people find that liberating, where as I find it almost terrifying. This year has been much better, and I'm not afraid anymore, as well as I find that I'm much more independent, which is what I need to be at this stage of my life. Still, I love and miss my family quite often.
Today I went to the Utah Valley Deaf Ward, as I do every other Sunday. A lot of times I feel like I learn more from them than I do in my student ward, just because as a family ward, the Deaf ward has so many people in different stages of life as well as people from different backgrounds. I still like going to the student ward, though, because I like being near people who are also going through what I am. To a certain extent, anyway. Today a young deaf man gave his homecoming talk. He served in D.C., and his joy and enthusiasm for his mission was infectious. I found myself thinking about a mission deeply, and for the first time having a genuine desire to serve. I think that's what has been holding me back, or what has caused my answer about a mission to always be "I think that I will..." or "I plan to..." instead of "I will". Now I can say that I will. I want to share that joy. I really do.
It's also strange for me to really realize that in December of this year, I will have a Bachelor's Degree. Neither of my parents were able to go that far with their education, and I'm glad that I have had to the opportunity to go this far. I'm also very thankful that I was accepted here at BYU, and that I have been able to live in a place with such great influences, even though I make fun of the extremes sometimes. It's all about balance, just like everything else in life.
More later. |
| | Posted 3/8/2009 6:15 PM - 17 Views - 4 eProps - 1 Comment
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